FF8英文连载之7 The Truth

2002-05-06 18:49 | fantastic

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THE TRUTH

On their way home, she sat on his laps with her head leant against his shoulder, which made him feel ill at ease.
"Why are you holding on to me like this?" he asked.
“You don’t like this, Squall?”
“Just not used to it…” he answered.
“Then how about when you were little? Didn’t you feel safe and secure being hold by your parents?”
“…I can’t remember anything about my parents…but Ellone was there, she was there to hold my hand.”
“Made you feel safe and secure?”
“Sure…but she left, just disappeared. I’m afraid…afraid of having that feeling of comfort taken away…”
“You were afraid of losing us? Is that why you kept your distance?”
“I was always alone.”
“Squall…you missed out on all the good things in life…you’ve missed out on so much…”
“…Maybe.” He said.
“Definitely, I liked it like this. I liked having my mom hold me, my dad, too.”
“I’m not your mom.”
“No, of course not,” she smile,” but now…Squall, you’re the one who gives me the most comfort. Comfort and happiness…and annoyance and disappointment, too!”
“…Whatever.”
“Whatever!”

Later, she got back to her seat, became so blue. “I’ve…become a sorceress. I can’t stay with you anymore, Squall.” She said this with her grieved eyes looking at him. He just looked to her, couldn’t say a word.
“I don’t what the future, I just want the present to stand still. I just want to stay here with you…” she almost cried out.
“Rinoa…”
“No body would want to be around me anymore…I don’t wanna go back…”she cried.
The sorceress from the future, Ultimecia, had chosen her to be the next sorceress after Edea, her body could be controlled whenever to do whatever Ultimecia forced her to. She was so afraid to be an enemy of the world, but there was nothing she could do but to be sealed in the Sorceress Memorial in Esthar. So she’d have to leave Squall and head to Esthar after landing on earth, although she wasn’t willing to. Of course, Squall didn’t want to let her go either, but he didn’t object because he thought he should esteem her own decision.
“I’m so scared, Squall.” said her, with tears in her eyes. She thought that there were only two ways for her, to be the sorceress and fight against SeeDs, or to sleep in the cold seal forever so that she’d not be an enemy. Both these ways were miserable to her, but she’d rather choose the latter for she’d never want to be an enemy of the world.
At that moment, Squall just didn’t know what to do or to say but to hug her in his arms. Undoubtedly, he got pain inside, which he’d never show.
“I don’t know what to do,” he thought,” this is just another crossroad in my life, but for the first time, I don’t know which way to go…I’ve come this far cause I’ve fallen for you…Rinoa…now, am I just supposed to let you go?”

When they got off the spaceship, they met the escort in Esthar waiting to pick Rinoa up to the Sorceress Memorial.
“I still have your ring.” she said, and handed it to Squall.
“You keep it.” said him.
“You sure?”
“Yeah…”
“Thanks, Squall…I have to go now, goodbye…” she turned and left.
“Rinoa!” he ran forward,” don’t go!”
She turned back,” I’m sorry Squall…but I have to…” and then left while he was looking away.
……


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有时候不知道真相,不了解本质的人,是快乐的。而能够假装不知道真相,不了解本质的人,却是幸福的。
只有一些人例外。比如家明在酒吧邂逅的那个十六岁的女孩。她透过喧嚣的音乐和烟雾,笑着对他说,家明,你的眼睛好明亮。这样的女孩直指人心。但是她不告诉他,她喜欢的绿镯子还是白镯子。她的快乐模糊而暧昧。却不知道躲藏。所以让自己无处可逃。
……
阳光和风无声地在空荡荡的屋檐穿行。
那一刻,幸福被摧毁得灰飞烟灭。
生命变成一场背负着汹涌情欲和罪恶感的漫无尽期的放逐。

——安妮宝贝《七月与安生》